Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Gotta have Rain for Rainbows~

Artist Unknown

Yesterday, was one of those difficult days. The kind of day, in which one can easily forget how very beautiful this world is. Or at least that's how I was feeling, coming home on a dark and rainy afternoon, standing on a wet sidewalk, waiting to cross a slippery street.

My eyes were welling up with unstoppable tears. In that poetic moment of sadness I convinced myself that the whole world was feeling my pain and even the sky was crying. As for the cause of my tears, well, I cannot say that there was some rational cause for such an intense welling up of emotion, a good reason to suffer so to speak. All I know, is that there was a deep sadness inside me, wanting to be known, and sometimes this is reason enough.  A little self indulgence from time to time is par for the course, I think.

It was in this very moment, that I said to myself, "oh come now Nao, it's not so bad, think of one good thing about this day, just one." And, despite the fact that I knew there was something, that indeed there were lots of good and wonderful things, I couldn't actually find one to sooth the ache in my heart. That's when a man on a bicycle said to me (and a small group of others also waiting to cross the street) he said, look behind you, look at that rainbow.

And just then the street light changed, and everybody rushed off. No one turned around to look at the rainbow, except me. I turned, and I looked, and I saw two beautiful rainbows stretching across the sky, wrapped in golden light.  

I just stood there for a long time looking and looking. The more I looked, the more I remembered all the beautiful things about this world. The more I remembered, the more I laughed.  Soon I was standing all alone looking crazy as a loon, laughing and crying at the same time, the poetry of the moment getting better by the second.  For there I was, doing what the sky was doing. For that brief moment my tears and my joy were mixing like the sun and the rain. 

It has been said that alchemy happens when opposites mix.  That there is a kind of ultimate union, a wholeness of the most holy kind when fire and water can meet and transform.

And that's when it occurred to me to look all around, before I decide that there is nothing good about any of it. Sometimes there are rainbows behind us and we don't even know it.

Just then, in the middle of my poem, a man in his 60's walked by smiling in a long raincoat, and he said to me, "isn't it one of the best ones you've ever seen."

And I looked at him with a face streaming with tears and a smile as stretchy as the rainbow in the sky, and I said, "Yes, yes, it is."


mamak said...

I cannot convey with words how I need this today. In my tears I will now see a rainbow. Namaste...

Renee said...

Nao, those moments, the happy and the sad. I think they come for a reason. What it is, I don't know, but I do know that I have them.


herhimnbryn said...

Strangers pointing the way......

Sorry for your tears N, but look where they led you!

Janelle said...

ah Perfect! angels are everywhere. just have to ask and look... great post. thanks! xxx j wow. the word verification is kidding!?

Anonymous said...

Love this Nao. I have soooo been there. To have the tears falling and a big smile on your face is a strange, but freeing feeling indeed. Hope you can find ALL the beauty in today. All my love,

Chimera said...

Hey there Nao, I know that feeling ..the deep sadness that knocks you sideways and I am thrilled that you were able to see through it to the rainbows! i was looking at rainbows in Zambia from my dad's favourite viewpoint half way up a hill loooking down onto a glorious mopane forest reserve. Eagles and swifts overhead and the teech, teech sound of insects all around. Someone wants to put in a massive golf complex in this very place. The thought makes me nauseous but.. Whatever happens..the rainbows will still come through.
T xxx

ruthie said...

Oh i know those moments - overwhelming indeed - the rainbows are there for the finding and when we catch a glimpse such a heart filling feeling they give - is that what it's all about i ask myself ?? x x

Art4Sol said...

What a wonderful healing of the spirit! And you're "story" helps others, too. Thank you!

freitag said...

Teczowe pozdrowienia ! -freitag

Anonymous said...

Nao, I just wanted to say...

I love your 'teatime traveller' blog, and your chin up and positive messages, and -- your profound and poetic soul.

here are a couple of poems I entered to globaltvbc contest, in an effort to win a trip to Rome...
(using 15 words & inspired by love...)

our love
is still
birch, white
warm sand
and kind
of island

and this is the first draft....

our love is still
white warm
sand, and the blue
that island flowers bring

I am glad to see your very strong talent, being used and not gone to waste...and I will check in from time to and happy spring you my dear!

N. McEwan