The "Compassionist"

This morning I find myself sitting cross legged on a sun drenched floor preparing a dance class for this evening.  

The class tonight is based on an ancient myth from the Reindeer people of Scandinavia.  The myth beautifully explains why human beings must journey through the darkness in order to uncover the loving radiant depths of their own beings.  It reminds us that suffering is a part of the journey; a part of the wholeness of the human experience.  

When I take a moment to contemplate the meaning of such a story in relationship to my own life, I  feel nothing but relief.  Relief for the tears I have shed this past week, for those fears that have come in through my backdoor and threatened the security of my perfectly ordered emotional world.  I feel relief for not having it all together and relief for the acceptance of my own humanness. 

There are treasures of soul that can only be found in the darkness, in the shadowy depths of self. Lately I  see that digging down into the mud of my own being has nothing to do with making a choice between the road of optimism and pessimism.  Instead I see the decent into my darkness as a journey into wholeness, a journey in to the totality of all that I am.  And this journey is governed by a kind of loving compassion, steeped in what it means to be a human being attempting to live an authentic and honest life.  Perhaps that makes me a "compassionist."

As the years of my life go by I am convinced that life is not such a black and white place.  I believe that their are more than two roads to choose from at any given moment.  Beyond  the sign posts of good and bad, right and wrong, is a rainbow spectrum of living.  

And so in this moment, I choose for myself, the road of the "compassionist," that is, one who folds the totality of their being into this beautiful and blessed human experience knowing that something divine is unfolding...always, whether it is dark or light, joyful or sorrowful.